Showing posts with label character interview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label character interview. Show all posts

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Guest Author Day with James Hatch


DR: I’m pleased to welcome Miss Havana on my blog today.

MH: Why, thank you Dawn. I trust you counted your coffee cups before I arrived.

DR: (Blushing while silently re-counting cups) Ah…yes…I…uh.

MH: Just kidding, Dawn. I have plenty of cups from my last interview.

DR: Well, in that case, it is especially good to have you here. What do you wish to enlighten us with today?

MH: I just read South Dakota passed a law requiring counseling at pregnancy help centers and a three-day wait before having an abortion. Frankly, I think it would be better to require men to have counseling and a three-day wait before having sex.

DR: Ah…that’s not exactly what I had in mind. Can we ratchet the discussion down a notch or two?

MH: Oh, sure. You probably want to know about my new release, right?

DR: (In stunned surprise) You write?

MH: I give advice…unique advice…and I’m the glamorous star of the novel, Oh, Heavens, Miss Havana! Frankly, I’d rather talk about myself than a stodgy old novel writer.

DR: Okay, what makes you special?

MH: Excellent question, Dawn. Despite my many shortcomings in The Substitute, I still managed to impress the Big Guy. Imagine my surprise when He freed me from hell and placed me on probation at the outskirts of heaven – a once in an afterlife opportunity – a chance to prove I’m not totally evil after all. Death is kind of permanent; second chances are nice.

DR: But all your friends are in hell! Weren’t you lonely?

MH: Ah, it wasn’t so bad. My daughter loaned me the shadow creature Waldo when she could find him, and I even got to abuse Senator Wansworth again. That was fun. In fact, once I got The Brazilian out of my hair, I got to inhabit whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

DR: What do you mean by, “inhabit”?

MH: (Snickering) It’s like haunting, but with more control. A powerful spirit can make a body do anything. It’s like you’re the puppet master, and the living are your toys. 

DR: Who’s The Brazilian and, dare I ask, why such a strange name?

MH: (Deep sigh) The Brazilian was my guide. He was supposed to show me the ropes and keep me out of trouble, but the slacker abandoned me before finishing his job. He probably had more waxing to do, but I guess that’s the answer to your second question. What a dweeb. Can you believe he’d interrupt a perfectly fine sexual encounter at precisely the wrong time, just to prevent me from stealing pleasure from the living? Give me a break! Being a spirit can be taxing! All work and no play makes for a boring afterlife!

DR: So your afterlife is boring?

MH: Oh, no. Not at all. I was speaking in general terms, about spirits with less ambition than I have. For those willing to take charge, say, by becoming the Angel of Death, things can be positively enthralling.

DR: You don’t mean THE Angel of Death, do you?

MH: Well, no one was doing the job at the time, so why not me? After all, you really don’t have to be an angel to do that particular job, you just need a finely honed sense of irony.

DR: So you just assumed the position on your own? Isn’t that like taking over the President’s job without holding an election?

MH: Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have, and maybe I got my hand slapped. Truth be told, I was accused of using a chainsaw when the real Angel of Death would have used a scalpel. I wasn’t making great strides with my twelve step program, so I needed to do something dramatic to deflect attention away from my lack of progress. Besides, I never understood why there has to be twelve steps? Why not something more manageable, like two or three?

DR: I assume you mean a program to overcome your addiction to evil, that twelve step program? How far did you get?

MH: Yes, that’s the one. Frankly, I had a real problem with step one. I’ve never been powerless over my addictions, although I probably should have lied about it. We lie about everything where I’m from.

DR: Are you lying now?

MH: I’m not sure. What was the question again?

DR: Are you lying now…about not being powerless over your addiction to evil?

MH: How about another cup of coffee? I’m really dry.

DR: Of course. (Rustles around looking for a cup) I don’t get it, there were seven cups here a moment ago. (Looks around at empty guest chair). Miss Havana? Where are you?

The Substitute – Paranormal Comedy by Solstice Publishing. This novel offers a hilarious romp through the final days of Miss Havana’s life, her trials in purgatory, and her afterlife with Lucifer.

The Substitute Blurb:  Miss Havana’s public persona was far from the truth because, in her capacity as substitute teacher, the small community where she lived knew her as the breathtakingly beautiful young woman who demanded every student learn, but in her private life, ostensibly caring for aging parents in Chicago, she raced through the lives of powerful men, leaving a wake of destruction…and a deep desire for revenge. Little did she realize her conflicted life would end in a chaotic death at an early age, and to eternal conflict with the devil. Clever and witty, the reader will not guess the conclusion of this novel until the final paragraph.

Oh, Heavens, Miss Havana! – Paranormal Comedy Coming Soon to Solstice Publishing. The second in the comedy series, this novel follows Miss Havana’s struggle in heaven’s probation and her self-appointed stint as “The Angel of Death” … until God dictates the surprise of her afterlife.

Oh, Heavens, Miss Havana! Blurb: An act of selflessness lands Miss Havana in heaven’s probation, where she torments ‘The Brazilian’, her guide. She has a lot to learn, but even as she makes incremental steps of progress, her evil nature wreaks havoc. Her spirit frequently visits the surface, inhabiting an advice columnist by day and various assassins by night. She is chaos, and eventually appoints herself as the Angel of Death. The issues she confronts in the spirit are horrific, and her solutions so extreme God is forced to intervene. He rues sending her back to hell, where she will join forces with her evil daughter, Lilith, but doesn’t want her disrupting probation either. God’s solution is unique, clever and totally unexpected. Miss Havana could not anticipate her fate; nor will the reader.

Thank you, Dawn, for having Miss Havana on your blog today. I hope you find your coffee cups before your next guest.


http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000328752553http://www.facebook.com/pages/James-L-Hatch/122349661172963?sk=wall

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Guest Author Day with James Hatch

Character Flaws


DR: Welcome to the Dawn Roberto blog, Miss Havana. Would you like to say a few words of introduction before the serious questions begin?

MH: Why thank you, Dawn. It’s an honor for you to have me here, I’m sure. I see your topic for today is “Character Flaws”. As a substitute teacher at Readmond High near Chicago, I would like to begin by stating categorically I don’t have any.

DR. I See. So you consider yourself naturally gifted?

MH: Oh, yes. I’m a natural blond.

DR: Can you tell us a little about the courses you teach?

MH: I think it’s vitally important to keep the students’ attention, so I ensure everything about me is fastidious. I keep my firm 34-26-36 figure fit and dress in immaculate form-fitting clothes. When I present my lessons, you can be sure every eye is on me, especially the boys. Oh, by the way, those numbers are from the bottom up.

DR: Er…ah…I hadn’t noticed. What subjects do you teach?

MH: Oh, I can handle anything, but they don’t let me teach boys PE.

DR: I can see the wisdom in that. Do you have any discipline problems with the students?

MH: When I first started the students could be unruly at times, but I found a solution. Here, see. Once I began using this puppy, the problems ended.

DR: Uh, this is a blog, Miss Havana, no one can see your impressive paddle. Where on earth did you get that giant anyway?

MH: Oh, you do get personal, don’t you? Let’s just say the Phi Delta boys were more than happy to offer it to me after I tutored them one night.

DR: You tutor at night? Aren’t the students tired then, and less receptive to learning?

MH: Oh, no. They were all perky.

DR: Let’s get to the meat of this interview. What can you tell me about character flaws?

MH: Well, I can tell you what I’ve observed. Character flaws are like hemorrhoids, you really can’t tell people have them until you get to know them better. I mean, have you ever met a stranger who introduced himself by telling you he had hemorrhoids right off?  Character flaws are like that. People don’t tell you they have them, so you have to deduce them yourself.

DR: Can you provide a few examples of those you’ve observed personally?

MH: But of course. Mr. Halstead sells drugs to other students, for example. I think that would be considered a character flaw by some. Not only that, but the bastard cheats his supplier. My ledger has come up short several times in the past month alone.

DR: Should we be using names? Aren’t things like that with minors confidential?

MH: Probably. Sorry.

DR: What else can you tell me, about flaws you’ve observed?

MH: I know from personal experience Senator Wansworth cheats on his wife. Even worse, he cheats on his mistress by failing to pay for services rendered. I mean, who would think it less expensive to hire a hit man than to pay a few dollars to a cash-strapped beautiful woman?

DR: Names, Miss Havana. Are they really necessary?

MH: Oh, then I probably shouldn’t mention his bitch of a wife who’s trying to kill me on her own…er, trying to kill the Senator’s mistress on her own. She’s just a sore loser who hasn’t won the township beauty pageant since I came to town.

DR: Sounds like you might have a few enemies?

MH: Nothing I can’t handle, although Macky Lane scares me a little. You know him, don’t you? He runs the Slippery Silverfish bar and grill in Chicago. Do you have any idea how many people actually believe a silverfish is a fish?

DR: I suppose you are implying Macky Lane has flaws as well?

MH: Big time! I should have guessed when I used the ladies restroom in his facility. Did you know if you lift the fig leaf on the statue of David by the sinks, a red light comes on outside in the bar. I mean, one little peek and the whole world thinks you’re a pervert. Good grief! I also have it on good authority that the bastard hires Charles Darwin to silence people, but not the original. I’ll bet he has a big paddle like mine. That sucker works for me. One whack, and I don’t hear a peep out of anyone.

DR: You do know that silencing someone in mobster talk means to kill them, don’t you?

MH: Really? That could explain a few thing.

DR: Actually, I wanted to ask you about your paddle. Aren’t there rules against using corporal punishment on students?

MH: Gee, I don’t know about that. I’m really, really close to most of the school board members, and they’ve never mentioned a thing. I’ll see Billy tonight. I’ll ask.

DR: Billy?

MH: You know, the head of the school board. Frankly, he’s pretty enthusiastic about the paddle himself. He loves the way it excites me, makes me itchy.

DR: At risk of incriminating myself, I believe we should terminate this interview right here, Miss Havana. It was a pleasure having you.

MH: Likewise, I’m sure.


Miss Havana is the main character in the paranormal comedy, The Substitute, to be released by Solstice Publishing on January 31, 2011. The Substitute is the first of a trilogy of comedies. The second, Oh, Heavens, Miss Havana! is complete, and an announcement concerning its release date will be made soon. Ideas and concepts for the third, The Training Bra, are being accumulated.

The Miss Havana character has been a joy to create and write. She is evil to the core but oblivious to the impact she has on others, which is the reason she is killed three times early in The Substitute, and remains a spirit for the rest of that book and throughout Oh, Heavens, Miss Havana!  Here’s the blurb:

Miss Havana’s public persona was far from the truth because, in her capacity as substitute teacher, the small community where she lived knew her as the breathtakingly beautiful young woman who demanded every student learn, but in her private life, ostensibly caring for aging parents in Chicago, she raced through the lives of powerful men, leaving a wake of destruction…and a deep desire for revenge. Little did she realize her conflicted life would end in a chaotic death at an early age, and to an eternal conflict with the devil. Clever and witty, the reader will not guess the conclusion of this novel until the final paragraph.

The Substitute received a five star review by Book Wenches at:  http://www.bookwenches.com/september10reviews.htm#636925762. Miss Havana also provides a column with outrageous periodic personal advice at Reaper’s Door: http://mlmrdenter.blogspot.com/.


A little about the author:

Although his Bachelors, Masters, and Ph.D. are in Chemistry and Meteorology, James worked as a scientist and system/software engineer before retiring a third time, then turned to writing. Extensive travel, from Thule, Greenland to Australia’s Great Barrier reef – and to dozens of countries in between – provide the real-life experiences he incorporates into everything he writes.

James enjoys boating, kayaking, skiing, traveling, hiking, tending nine grandchildren (no more than two at a time), and ballroom dancing, but his first love is writing, and all other activities are molded around it. He has completed seven novels and one short story, and intends to continue writing in the Sci-Fi and Paranormal Comedy genres. He has five titles with xoxopublishing.com, the latest being Aftermath Horizon, and one, The Substitute, with Solstice Publishing.

Thank you for having me today, Dawn, and a big thank you to each reader who stopped by today!

Sincerely,

James L. Hatch         


 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Chatting with Willa Edwards


Eric, my hero from my Christmas release, Naughty List, was kind enough to stop by and let me interview him a little. 

Thanks so much for being here Eric.

No problem. I’m glad I could help out. 

So let’s just get started. Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?

Hi, I’m Eric. I’m a social worker. I’m an avid baseball fan, or at least I used to be. I haven’t been that interested in baseball recently.  I love Christmas, and spend every Christmas Eve with my best friend Callie. We have a great time watching old movies and decorating cookies.

Are you single?

Um…Yes…

Why don’t you tell all those ladies out there that might be interested, what’s your biggest turn on?

We’re starting out with the tough ones, huh. 
Confidence and passion is the sexiest thing on a woman. Or if that doesn’t work, a nice tight ass in tiny lacy panties will definitely get my attention. 

What’s your biggest pet peeve about women?

You don’t want me to have a date again, do you?  Alright, I really can’t stand it when women give men too much credit. Always making excuses for their behavior. If a man keeps putting off being with you, or committing to you, that’s a sign something’s wrong. I hate when women allow men to treat them as less than they deserve.

I think we can all agree with that. So do you where boxers, briefs, or nothing at all?

Um…Ah…I usually wear boxers. But those velvet Santa pants felt pretty good without anything else on.

Wow! Sexy Santa, what kind of girls are you interested in getting in those pants with you?

A woman that will let me tie her down and spank her. Just kidding.
I like down to earth girls. I’ve never been a fan of high maintenance women who are more concerned about their hair than spending time with their significant other.  I’ve never gone for a girl covered in makeup. I’d rather have the girl covered in mud from playing touch football.
And a woman that’s willing to accept help and ask for something if she needs it. I don’t like to play games, besides maybe some full contact sports if you get my drift, and I’m not a mind reader. If you want something or need something, let me know, don’t expect me to guess. 

Sounds like you’ve met a few women like that?

A few. But just as many that aren’t. Callie would never make a guy guess, she’s not into primping or playing, and she’s can throw an amazing spiral.

As you know its holiday time. What’s you’re favorite holiday tradition?

Every year my best friend Callie and I have a bet to see who can get the other the best gift. I lose almost every year, but I still love it. The competition and the anticipation to see who won, it’s like a sport. It’s almost like sex, lots of great build up and anticipation, with a great end result. Oops, I didn’t say that.

Sure…What would you like for Christmas?

Angelina Jolie. Ha ha! No seriously, I’d love to meet the woman of my dreams. I know it’s kind of dorky, but what I’d really like to find that right girl, to settle down, get married. I’ve never been the love ‘em and leave ‘em kind. I want a family, someone to come on home, someone to share my life with. What can I say, I’m a geek. At least Callie always says so. 

Callie sounds like a good friend. What do you like about her?

Callie’s the best. She’s a great friend. She’s always there when I need her. The best part about Callie is she’s always there for everyone. She cares about everyone so much, the kids at her school, she’s an elementary gym teacher, her friends, me. I just wish she’d give herself more credit. That she’d believe in herself more. She’s amazing, I wish she realize that.

Thanks so much for being here Eric. We really appreciate your candor. And we hope you get everything you’re asking for this Christmas. And make sure to check out Naughty List coming out on Christmas Eve by Cobblestone Press.


BLURB
Eric has been in love with Callie since the day they met, one month after someone else put a ring on her finger. Since her engagement ended Eric has been biding his time, waiting for her to be ready. Until he finds a naughty list of Christmas wishes hidden between her couch cushions with his name on the top.
 He's willing to do anything to make Callie happy, including take on the role of dominate Santa Claus and spank her to blow-your-stockings-off orgasm. But is she ready for everything he wants? Does she want his love?
EXCERPT
“Ready to go?” Eric smiled at the small sneer covering Callie’s lips as she stood posed in the entryway of her home, blocking him from the warmth within. Her dark red hair tousled about her head. He fisted his hands at his sides to stop his needy fingers from smoothing down those silky waves, stroking their long, coiled length.
They had plans to go to the local theater and see It’s a Wonderful Life, a favorite Christmas tradition of theirs. Callie said a theater was the only way to appreciate such a movie. All Eric cared about was spending time with Callie.
“I thought we were meeting there.” Her eyes gleamed like emeralds, sparkling in the elaborate Christmas lights she’d arranged around her door, regardless of the irritation curling her lip.
Callie loved Christmas. She decked her small Cape Cod cottage each year, turning it into a Christmas wonderland complete with a porcelain snow-capped village and Mariah Carey singing about what she wanted for Christmas. The entire house smelled like pine, sugar cookies, and home. Warmth and comfort radiated from every corner, just like Callie.
“We were, but I thought you’d like a ride.” He knew she hated it when he tried to take care of her, even with a simple ride to the theater, but he couldn’t help it. She might try to deny it, reassuring everyone that she was fine, that she’d healed from what happened with Josh, but he knew better.
He noticed the crinkles around her mouth, the heaviness of her brow, and the dull pain that always rung in her voice, regardless of how happy she appeared on the outside. She still held the incident with her, tucked in her heart, where she wouldn’t allow anyone. The urge to go to the ballpark and bash Josh into mincemeat grew stronger every day. And he would have to, if Callie hadn’t made him promise to leave the bastard alone. She claimed she only wanted to move on, but she hadn’t.
Besides, a few more minutes with Callie, or seeing the way her eyes lit up for a special gift, were well worth her prickliness.
Callie put up a hiccup of a fight before holding the door open, allowing him into her cozy home. “Fine. Come in. I was just about to get ready.”
He snorted. Knowing Callie, she hadn’t been planning on getting dressed for another fifteen minutes.
Most women, if ambushed early, would be half dressed, maybe hair up, or makeup half done. Not his Callie. She was still in her pajamas. More annoyed that he’d deprived her of a few more minutes in her comfy flannels than her prep time.
“You don’t have to change on my account. I think you look quite festive.”
Callie smiled, twirling in front of him to show off her cuddly Christmas pajamas. Reindeer with bright red noses, long flirty lashes, and gigantic pursed lips molded around her legs as she spun. Red ribbons and sparkling snowflakes curled around the most gorgeous heart-shaped ass he’d ever seen.
Eric swallowed to prevent himself from making any noise. His cock pressed against the rough denim of his jeans, his balls tight and heavy as ceramic tree ornaments. If Callie knew the truth, knew how much he wanted her, their entire relationship would change. He couldn’t pressure her like that.
Across the stretchy red tank top covering her small, perky breasts, large silver block letters spelled out Sexxy Vixen. Unconsciously he bit his tongue, tasting the faint metallic trace of blood in his mouth. Everything about Callie was sexy. Even her flannel pajamas.
His nails bit crescents into his palm. He wanted to rip that tank top off her, touch her breasts, hold her hands down as he sucked her nipples until she bucked and begged for more.
But Callie was too fragile to handle his aggression, the frantic need that had been growing within him for four long years. Since the day they met.
He couldn’t push himself on her. She still needed time.
“It may be a Christmas movie—” she grinned “—but I don’t think I should be dressed this festive.”
“I don’t mind. No one’s going to see you in the theatre.”
“Actually—” Callie’s gaze shifted to the plush taupe carpet. Eric’s gut clenched. Callie only avoided his stare when she had really bad news to deliver. “Krista and James are going to meet us there.”
Eric groaned. “James is weird. You know he doesn’t even watch football. Last time I met him he told me he didn’t watch the Super Bowl last year—he finished the school board budgets instead. What kind of person does that?”
“I know, but she’s one of my best friends, and he’s the principal of the school, and they’re having a hard time so—“
“I’ll be nice to him and on my best behavior all night.”
“Exactly.” She laughed, playfully slapping his right biceps. If he grabbed her hand he could pull her into his arms in seconds, and his mouth would be on hers a second later.
And the next moment she’d be pushing him away, their friendship ruined.
“I’ll just be a minute,” Callie replied, her hand brushing along his arm as she stepped behind him to her bedroom. “I’m going to slip into something less comfortable.”
“Take your time,” he called, holding his breath as he waited for the bedroom door to click closed.
He’d fantasized about that bedroom so many times. The dark navy comforter, the soft baby blue sheets decorated with smiling snowmen she used all winter long. He imagined them so many nights. The smell of her skin along the sheets, the feel of the fabric wrapped around him as he perched above her, soft against his back as she straddled him, keeping them warm as they drifted off to sleep, Callie tucked into his side.
The doorknob snapped shut and Eric jumped to attention. He wouldn’t have long. Callie was always quick getting ready. If he wanted a chance of finding any evidence of what Callie wanted for Christmas, he’d better move fast.
Callie and he had an ongoing bet to find the most heartfelt present for the other. The loser had to be the other’s designated driver for New Year’s Eve. And Eric had lost for the last three years.
If she hadn’t been newly engaged he probably would have lost four years ago too, but when he’d found the picture of her parents’ wedding he’d had the brilliant idea to have her friend Amy make a duplicate of her mother’s veil. Callie had cried when she opened the box and had worn the veil for the rest of the holiday party. Eric had never done anything so right as commissioning that frilly lace train.
It wasn’t that he minded losing. Callie was funny when she had too much to drink. She told racy jokes and got overly touchy, which as long as she was only touching him, was worth being sober to ring in the New Year.
But after all she’d been through this year, calling off her wedding and finding out the truth about Josh, he wanted to make all her Christmas wishes come true. Starting with the perfect present, even if he had to snoop to find out what she wanted.
Eric looked around the room, frantically searching for something she might need. He tipped his head to look into the trash, inspecting the contents for clues, hoping to find some recently broken appliance or family heirloom he could repair that Callie’s elementary gym teacher salary wouldn’t allow.
A sliver of light green between the arm and cushion of Callie’s mocha-colored couch drew his eye. The bright color protruded from rich leather, one of the few pieces of furniture in the room besides an inherited coffee table and elaborately decorated Christmas tree. Taking two steps to the couch, he gripped the spearmint object between his thumb and forefinger, pulling the folded holiday paper from the crevice. Why would Callie shove a piece of paper between the couch cushions? Why would she need to hide something in her own home?
Eric unfolded the paper, expanding the corners into a large, flat sheet. Twirling red ribbons and shiny gold ornaments decorated the page and snowflakes dotted each line. The written words stopped his breath. Callie’s tight, neat script whispered his greatest fantasy.
His throat closed, trapping the oxygen in his chest. His eyes blurred as he read the words over and over. His vision must be playing a trick on him. Callie would never be interested in this kind of sex, and she would certainly never be interested in him.
He’d been in love with Callie since the day he’d met her, which happened to be one month after Josh had slipped a three-carat diamond ring on her finger. He could still remember the bite of that hard rock into his palm as he shook her hand, thanking her for volunteering at the special needs event for thirty kids with physical handicaps, several his cases, that her fiancĂ©’s team was hosting. The small pinch reminded him their meeting was not a dream. This funny, interesting, beautiful woman was real.
He may have denied his feelings at first, but he’d long since accepted he’d never have her, and forced himself to become just her friend. In all that time he’d never imagined she could return his affection.
He wasn’t her type. Callie went for athletic pretty guys. Hell, Josh had been a professional baseball player. How was a social worker supposed to compete with a guy like that? Awkward, gawky, and broke to boot—what a catch Eric was. She deserved better.
His stare remained glued to her naughty Christmas list. His gaze drifted to the top of the page where she’d written his name. He reread each increasingly kinky line. How long had she been thinking about him like this? Since she’d broken off her engagement? Before? If he’d only known, he would have already fulfilled all these wishes and then some.
A wicked smile curled his lips. His body burned stronger than the fire in the chimney Kris Kringle would soon be coming down. His cock pressed against his jeans, hard, hot, wanting. The confinement was a sweet pain he’d become used to after years of being so close to the woman of his dreams but unable to touch her.
There was no time like the present.
“Ready to go?” Callie asked from the bedroom door. He raised his head, cramming the list under his thigh as he drank in the poinsettia red sweater hugging her curves. His mouth watered at the rose blush staining her cheeks. He’d do better than that.
Eric nodded, his tongue no longer working properly. Callie’s curls fluttered as she pulled on a white puffy jacket, making the most adorable candy cane he’d ever seen as she walked to the door. One he couldn’t wait to taste.
Eric trailed behind, stuffing the holiday page into his back pocket. Christmas suddenly looked a lot brighter.

 Follow Willa on the web at:
www.willaedwards.com