Now I aint sayin' she a gold digger...

Now I aint saying she a gold digger
But she aint messing with no broke nigga!!

Yes, Kanye & Jamie Foxx had a great concept when coming up with this song because yes, in this world, what woman (or even man) do you kno wanna be involved with a broke nigga? lol.

Now what is a gold-digger? The world would describe this person as being someone that’s full of greed. Only out for personal gain to get all that they can get from that person of the "baller status". Some of these females tend to "get off" at the man in the club, flashing their cash at the bar just because they can buy them drinks. But what these chicks don’t kno is that most of these guys do this just to get the attention from them. Its basically a two-way street in this situation, guys flash their money cuz they kno the "gold diggers" will flock so they can basically get their own rocks off later that night. So this should make you think ladies… Just as much as you’re using them, they are playing your ass right back.

There was a time when my friends would always sing the infamous chorus of Kanye’s song to me because it just so happened that most of the guys I’ve dealt with had money. But I’m not the type that would go out to the club or wherever to seek out the nigga with the biggest cash roll in his pocket. I’ve actually been in relationships where the guy didn’t have much and was trying to work towards something in his life.

This brings me to my next point… Coal-Diggers. A friend of mine wrote a note on facebook about the whole topic of gold-diggers vs. coal diggers. She believed that coal was a good example because coal may not be that appealing to the eye but coal gets the job down. Coal can keep a house warm, coal can heat up a stove, coal can keep the train moving! And I have to totally agree, money doesn’t appeal to my senses. If you have it, that’s great.

The way the economy is now, you can lose money quicker than you’ve gain it. So, of course, when and if that time comes, a woman should still be willing to stand by her man during that time because yes, hard times will come.

And yes it just so happens that God has blessed with someone who actually on that "baller status" but did I kno this before we were involved? No. And just because I know he’s practically a damn millionaire, would my attitude change towards him? No, because he’s just a regular dude and carries himself that way. And if he were to lose it all today, I'd still be right by his side.

So if you dont have all the "gold" its okay because coal can withstand pressure and with enough pressure, it can become a diamond and in my book, a diamond is worth way more than gold.

I really don’t kno what questions to ask for this topic for you guys. It was just something that has ran across my mind over a conversation that I had a few days ago. But what are your thoughts on it?

i've changed for you...

How much should one change in order to make the relationship work?

This is a question I’ve asked myself alot because in most of my relationships, I try to “adapt” to my surroundings to make things work without changing much of what makes me… ME. This can be rather tough to do because, of course, everyone you encounter will be different. So, you have to adjust the whole approach as to “how will I deal with this person to keep both of us happy?” or “what will I do different from my last relationship?”

With me… I’m as stubborn as a mule but yet I’ve catered to every boyfriend that I’ve had if he was worthy of it. But in this case, I feel as though I’m lost within myself as to how much I’ve changed for this person… And now its starting to bug me a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with the man I’m dealing with but yet I feel as though I’ve lost a sense of self in this.

Let me break it down a bit…

I’m the type of woman that is what we call that “ride or die” chick. I’ll stand beside my man through thick & thin. And I’ve done so in ALL of my relationships. But this relationship is sooo different. I find myself changing things that I normally wouldn’t give a shit about in any other situation, like going to the clubs and hanging out like I usually do (I’ve like stopped that completely). And I find myself saying yes because I’m somewhat afraid of what might happen if I say no.

I’ve been told I’m a strong individual but in my opinion, I believe right now my strength has turned into my weakness. I give my all to make my other half happy. But in the same sense, I’d hope he’d do the same for me. I’ve been taken advantage of so many times before so I’d hope in this case, I’m not being made out to be a fool.

Maybe I’m overreacting, who knows…

Its just a thought that had came to me during a brief discussion with my significant other. And it just hit me like damn, I’ve changed ALOT in this relationship and maybe I need to cut back on it or just need to have a serious sit down talk with him about this.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been through this and its somewhat crazy because I know a lot of people believe that they need to stay the same in every relationship & think that it will work out. I must say you’re so wrong…

But my question is…
How much are you willing to change for your significant other?

Fight The Power???

had to go all out and use a different font for this post...even though i cant even tell that it is different
(blogspot ceo..."hey guys, lets give the bloggers 'options' in font...but they will really all be drastically similar...good times!!) smmfh


anywayz...on to the topic at hand.
WHO SHOULD HAVE THE 'POWER' OR 'CONTROL' IN A RELATIONSHIP? THE WOMAN? THE MAN? OR SHOULD IT BE DIVIDED EQUALLY? IF NOT, WHO SHOULD HAVE MORE??

no, this isnt a random question i pulled out the air. i actually have an ex that feels that because he is the man, he should possess all the power in the relationship. it caught me off guard a bit because well, i dont agree. dont get me wrong, i'm a FIRM believer in letting a man be a man and taking charge...i just didnt like the way he "took charge".

there was alot of "shut the fuck up", "you moron/asshole/bitch/derelict...etc etc", and alot of threats made. i'm all for the sexy male anger and 'putting me in my place' but theres a way to go about it.

1. do NOT threaten me physically in ANY way shape or form
2. do NOT call me out my name and expect me to be on my 'yes dear'...'no dear' ish.
3. do NOT raise your voice at me (as soon as someone comes at me in a condescending way...i completely shut down to it...nothing is heard out of their mouth.


now, it would be different if i HADN'T told him that i didnt like these things being done...but i did. i sat and said those exact same things out my mouth. i CANNOT be spoken to like a child/animal and you actually think i'm gonna sit there and.....listen???????

to me...
being a man and possessing that natural authority is what attracts me and allows me to step down or back off from an issue. i dont feel its degrading to a woman to let a man take control. nor do i feel that its necessary to be equals 24/7...sometimes the male should have control, sometimes the female.

i have a decent understanding of the male pride...i just feel like somewhere lost in that pride...is the idea that woman dont have any pride.

ATTENTION ATTENTION PLEASE...WOMEN DO HAVE PRIDE AND DESERVE RESPECT. WE JUST KNOW WHEN TO PUT IT TO THE SIDE AND WHEN TO BRING IT TO THE FOREFRONT.

if a man could be in the middle of an arguement...stop the whole thing...tell me what its gonna be and what will happen from that point on...and does it with authority but not disrespect...with passion but not hatred...with understanding but not an overbearing nature...you know what i'm gonna do when he's done...

imma shut the fuck up if i'm wrong.

i cant do the name calling and threats though...or cockiness. it just turns me off to even want to back down on my side. i feel like my womanhood is being challeneged...like im expected to respond as if i'm a pet. that's not how it works in these parts...so idk.

mind you, i have an ENORMOUS amount of pride myself. sometimes i DONT know when to give in but i'll be damned if i'm not trying to figure this whole male species out. i don't think males are all the same...not even any two males for that matter. EVERYONE has to be dealt with differently...

my issue is...if i'm making strides and learning how to cater specifically to someone's personality...why cant it be done for me?? if someone knows i'm a little spoiled and like attention...whats wrong with giving that to me?

i'm single now...pretty much by choice. an entire relationship ruined because of two peoples pride. its all so crazy to me. i dont knock anything anymore though because everything happens for a reason. i get confused every so often with the switching of words and actions...but i'm to the point where i no longer want to understand.

a situation reached a point it NEVER should have and through it i came to the realization that...i deserve respect...and a little control in my own relationship.

i want male opinions...is it just that yall dont feel females will do things correctly if they have the power? do you even care if the woman controls the relationship? does it make you feel like less of a man? or do you actually like when it happens? is there a certain way a woman could go about gaining the power that wouldnt alarm you as much? or make you feel like less of a man?

and ladies (no i'm NOT biased)
why do we feel the need to control EVERYTHING? do you care to even have control in the relationship? how do you feel when it comes to the point where a man is taking the control? what are some ways that a guy has tried to gain control that attracted you? what are some that turned you off?


this topic baffles me...for lack of a better word.
any help here people??
(& if your relationship is same sex...just answer the questions related to you)